Super Brian

Brian says he looks like a super hero in his new prescription safety glasses and I think he is pretty super too. I thought I would share some of his super powers. (you have to say super ____ like you are saying SUPER MAN - or else it just sounds funny.)

Super Hearing Brian can hear dripping water or a "loud" refrigerator from a mile away. This is essential in his heroic mission to keep our home water damage free.

Super Smell He was lying on the floor in Colleen's room and smelled mildew and rot. The next day he tried to track down the smell - it was coming from Colleen's sandals. He can find those sandals in any room in the house just using his nose.

Super Sleeper He can sleep anywhere. Recently he has been sleeping on the floor in Colleen's room since she has started waking up screaming 3 or 4 times a night.

Super Legs He has been running 1-3 times a week for the last month or so and decided to run in the 5k/10k race here in town yesterday. As he was signing up he looked at the route and realized that he had run that way before and he could do the 10k. CRAZY MAN! Needless to say he now has a Super Sore Body. But I am super proud of him even if he did come in last.

Super Voice The kids are lucky to have a Dad with a Super Voice to read and read and read to them each night. Unfortunately, they are often thwarted in their reading by Mean Mom who says, "You have been reading for a half and hour! It's 9 o'clock! Time to stop!"

Super Taste buds The man cannot be brought down by spicy, is ultra sensitive to sweet and cannot taste sour. Those way over sweetened Grapefruit Juices are the bane of his existence.

Super Friendly We wouldn't know hardly anyone here if it weren't for Brian. He just feels comfortable talking to almost anyone.

Super Funny The girls love playing with him and he makes me laugh/roll my eyes everyday.

I love him and am so glad that I have been able to spend the last 10 years with my SUPER HUSBAND

Beauty Pictures

Amy is hosting "Let's Get Real 2009" -- Unedited pictures of your home in it's normal state. Scary I know. Unfortunately, I spent 2 hours cleaning my house before treating myself to a blog-surf where I found her post yesterday, still more unfortunately, the house has descended back into chaos and most unfortunate of all I dropped my camera twice (yes, twice-me, not the kids) two days ago and broke it so I can't take current pictures of the mess.

Fortunately, I remembered these beauties. I took these when we were listing our house. I had to get perfect pictures for our listing but took some before and after pictures for fun.

When I saw this picture of the kitchen I was giving myself a pat on the back for keeping our current kitchen cleaner but then I realized that we have 5 times the counter space so the mess is just more spead out. There is really more of it.

That's the living room when I had been trying to keep it clean. Selling a house is the worst. I was almost glad we didn't have very many showings.

Amy will be posting her Normal People Extravaganza on Tuesday - be part of the action too!

Things I Have Learned

Once I admitted I was depressed and started reading up on it I realized that I had probably had two prior episodes of depression. The first one was my sophomore year in college. That year is just fuzzy in my mind. I was working an early morning custodial job and was under the normal school stresses everyone is. Unfortunately, lack of sleep and stress are two of my big depression triggers. I slowly "snapped out of it" during the break that summer. The second 'sode was at the end of my mission. Add to stressed and tired, bad companion relations, gray and freezing cold weather and nothing resembling anything that could be construed as success and you will know why I was miserable. Plus looking back I think my companion was also suffering from depression. Two depressed sisters - I was glad to come home. I wanted out of that situation so badly I didn't have second thoughts about whether or not I was glad to go home. Again it took me two or three months to get out of my slump. When I did it was like things just brightened up again.

I talked to my mom about my depression (at last) and found out that everyone in my immediate and extended family suffers from some form of depression. Why did I not know about this? Everyone who is so genetically predisposed should be warned. Depression and other mental health issues usually show up in the early 20's - when you are on a mission or away at school or a newly wed or basically on your own. Be warned younger siblings - be aware of how you are feeling and dealing with things. If you come from a family who has mental health issues you might luck out but you might have been dealt a genetically bad hand and have to deal with depression or other issues. Side note: I personally buy into depression having both a physical and behavioral component.

I also learned that exercise and eating well can help regulate depression. My sister and I got a 2 for 1 pass at the gym. I could tell when I had exercised enough (35 to 40 minutes) because my body chemistry really would change. I even went off sugar for about 4 months. Eating complex carbohydrates helps keep blood sugar and emotional levels more even so you don't have the highs and lows of junk food. By the time I admitted I was depressed I was too far gone to put these things into practice. It was only after I was on my meds for a few months that I was "together" enough to work on things myself. Before I would have just tried, failed, cried, felt like a loser, cried and cried again. There is a certain level you have to be at/get to before you can help yourself.

I learned that I could tell if I was slipping back into a depressive episode because I start having recurring dreams where I am beyond a b****. Yelling, throwing things, saying horrible things to people. Really yucky dreams. Another sign is when I start swearing in my head (yeah, sometimes it pops out too). I also become angry irritable and impatient with the children. I want to hit someone or something. I have seriously thought about getting a punching bag.

If you want to learn more about depression a good site is WebMD - of course they are coming at depression from a medical disease point of view.

Three Depression Recommendations

I've meant to write about this for awhile but I keep putting it off. Here we go. I suffer from depression. I have been doing well for the last few years but I think it is like being an alcoholic, you will always have to watch yourself. I first realized I was depressed after Emily was born. I thought it was just the misery of babies that was making me miserable until I became suicidal. (wow, said that out loud). I finally went to my dr. who basically patted my hand as I had a breakdown in his office and handed me some low level pills he said I could take if I needed. I didn't feel comfortable taking them but wasn't feeling any better so I went back to a different dr. the next month. I really talked with her and she answered my questions about medication and depression and referred me to a psychiatrist. I started taking Zoloft, exercising and trying to eat better. After my meds got to the right (ie max) level I started to feel better. There were still ups and downs but I was feeling pretty good. Moral of that story go to a different dr. if you need to - a pain but worth it to have someone who understands and will work with you.

We moved to Texas and I decided I would try this baby thing again. This time though I wanted to see a councilor prior to the baby being born so I would have someone I could go to if I lost it again. It was the best decision I ever made. I loved Molly. She was down to earth, funny, real and pregnant too. It was amazing what a difference it made to talk to someone. She was a rational outsider who could tell me if my feelings were "normal" and if I needed to work on something etc. If you suffer from depression/anxiety/anything talk to a councilor weekly over the course of months. It will make a world of difference. It was such a blessing I was going to counseling because we lost Baby Brian at 40 weeks and the depression counseling turned into grief counseling. It would have been a million times harder if we hadn't been able to talk to Molly.

Later on my good friend C. recommended a book that had "changed her life" and made it so she didn't take antidepressants anymore (note: she was taking a seasonal low dose). Anyway, after reading and applying the principles in Burn's Feeling Good Handbook she basically realized that she didn't have to be perfect. Being free from unrealistic expectations placed on her by herself let her come back up emotionally.

Burns espouses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Basically, that your thoughts control your emotions. He teaches you to be aware of your feelings and thoughts choose more rational forms of thinking. Buy this book! I don't care if you are depressed or not. It has something in it for EVERYONE. I will go more in depth in another post but seriously BUY and READ this book. I hate self help books as a general rule but I want EVERYONE who reads this blog to read The Feeling Good Handbook.

I will write more later but if I had two seconds to give advice to anyone who was suffering from depression the first three things I would recommend would be to see your dr. and a councilor and read the Feeling Good Handbook. Those three things TOGETHER should make good headway in most cases.

One of the Cool Moms

I noticed especially in Texas that it was the cool young moms that got asked to serve in the Young Women's Program. Well, I either look cooler than I am or they are making an exception because I just got called to be the BeeHive class adviser (12-13 yr olds). (Did they notice my new flat-ironed hair do?!?) I am in charge of teaching the Sunday lessons and will participate in midweek activities as I am able/needed. I am glad I am teaching the younger girls instead of the older ones.

I think this calling will also be a wake up call. Yesterday's lesson (I didn't teach) was on keeping our thoughts pure. One thing that was emphasized was that what we see and hear is with us long term - while there is repentance our minds remember so it is better to avoid than to repent. The girls were given a bookmark with a cockroach in an ice cream cone and the saying: It's really good, except for that one part. How many times have I said that?!? I recreated it for you up above. Yuck! I am recommitting to watching/reading/listening to stuff that I can recommend wholeheartedly.

More Random Stuff

I just found out about my neighbor Lisa's art blog. She paints a little picture on a playing card each day and posts them. They are mostly food based. She also sells on Etsy. How cool is she?!?

Brian and the girls found a cicada coming out of it's old skin.

10 years ago Thursday Brian and I got married. I love him so much! I think we will have a self portrait anniversary tradition from now on. We carried on in our normal anniversary tradition and went out to eat Friday night.

I found this great blog called Petit Debutant and among other things she is hosting a Photography-Along. I think I am going to do it and this picture of Kate is my first picture using what I learned in the first lesson. The Get Closer, Rule of Thirds and the Golden Mean. Check it out. Let me know if you decide to do it.

Kate is Soooo spitty! On a more positive note she rolled over from her front to her back today.

Thursday was Emily's first day of school. She was up and dressed with her shoes and backpack on at 7am. She and Brian left at 7:25 to walk 4 blocks to the high school where she catches the bus. She walks with our neighbors Mandy and Adam. VERY EXCITING! She has also developed her own sense of style. Note the rubberbands on her wrist and the sock on her arm. She and Aleah dyed socks with chalk a week or two ago and she has been wearing it regularly since. Brian didn't notice she was wearing it the first day of school (I was feeding the baby) and I only saw it when she got home and we took pictures. The ratty gray sock has been offically banned as school wear but she can wear it to play. :) oh boy...

Iowa State Fair and Thoughts on the Cost of Entertainment

Aleah playing in the fountain.

Yesterday Brian came home at 1:30 and we went to the fair. It was hot but lots of fun. We hit the animals first. We saw some blue eyed horses (fairly common in paint horses). They looked really freaky. I fell in love with the 6 month old calves. I don't know if I would be able to kill them when they grew up. They had a couple of newborn calves there and they were still so skinny they looked sick. We liked Guernsey cows - they are a milk breed - and made ourselves homesick over Indiana.

There were lots of cool play places for the kids - They (Brian too) had a blast climbing on this wooden train.

While they played on the train Kate and I posed for a self portrait - notice the cool wrap? She loves arching her back and looking up.

It was our first time at the fair grounds so we wandered a little. I loved looking at all of the cool things the 4-H kids had made. On the way home we were talking about Emily doing 4-H and noted that the 4-H projects and the Young Women projects overlapped. Anything you would do for 4-H would count for Young Women's and vice-versa. I think we really need to do a better job of showing off what the Young Women do. The 4-H kids have a whole fair to show what they do. I personally am motivated by appreciation and competition. I would have loved to show something in the fair. Anyway...

This was one of the best things I saw at the fair. This guy just herded his geese around - great!

Other cool things we saw included - the most awesome blender demo, demo bee hives and a life sized butter sculpture of a cow. We headed out of the fair at 8pm. It was weird how the fair had changed. The strollers were on their way out and teens to 30's were on their way in. Girls were dressed to attract attention and everyone over 21 was buying a beer. There are two different fairs. It is literally like night and day.

It's not the fair if there is not a big Chicken.

Then there was the big question at the end of the fair. Was it worth $5 per person to go on the Farris Wheel? $25 for 15 minutes of ride?

I never bought into the idea that "kids are sooo expensive." I always figured you just had to go about it the right way. Diapers, crib, stroller and clothing are the main initial expenses. You get everything you can at garage sales and just add in the $30 a month for diapers. When they start to eat real food, buy a few boxes of cereal and just grind up your own food. By the time they are eating tons of food they are using less diapers so it all evens out. Clothes - continue to buy at garage sales and clearance the year before - they'll grow into them. Shoes - sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and buy them.

My first hint that kids could cost more came as Emily began to eat more and we couldn't share with her and Aleah when we went out to eat. Now both Emily and Aleah eat a lot and there is Colleen. We have definitely graduated from being able to order just two entrees. Kids cost more to take out.

I have come to realize this summer that the big cost of having more kids is in the entertainment department. I feel almost light minded thinking about it. Entertainment is fluff - if it costs a lot then just don't do it. But I feel that swimming is a necessary part of summer. Since we didn't go swimming right after we moved her (think baby) we didn't bother to buy a summer pass so now every time we go I have to ask myself whether it is worth the $12 or $20 depending on the pool for a few hours of swimming.

After the Farris Wheel question I thought next year we would have the kids do "fair chores" and we could put all of our earnings in a jar and buy a $25 wrist band for rides. Do-able. Times 5, plus entrance fee, plus a snack of fair food. It could be a $200 entertainment expense! While it is affordable if saved for, it makes me ill to blow that much money on fun. It would make me feel better if it was just me going and spending $50. :) But $200 is a chunk of money that should be spent more wisely.

Don't even get me started on the expense of going to the movies with the kids. We don't take them yet (Aleah got scared watching Mulan this afternoon) - but $7 a person - plus the treats you sneak in yourself is $40 for an afternoon. That is a month's worth of diapers! Thankfully there is a $2 theater here so it will be less if we go there. Anyway...

I want to do fun things with my family and it is starting to hit me that as they get older and don't "get in free" anymore entertainment costs will go up. Oh well, I still think we will go to the fair one more time this year. I didn't get to see the home economics building or the Little Hands on the Farm Exhibit! :) We'll go while Brian is out of town and save more $!

Random

Emily has figured how to insert pictures into our paint program and made this lovely collage for us!

Aleah thinks that Monsanto is a person. Read these sentances thinking of Monsanto as some guy out there. "Monsanto wants me to get safety glasses." "We can't eat in Monsanto's truck." "Monsanto wants us to turn in all this safety paperwork." Aleah asked when Monsanto's birthday was and said, "We should get him something safe. Monsanto likes safe things."

Aleah has been calling her dad Bwian. She and Brian went together and bought a lawnmower. She said it was my birthday present. I'll tell her husband that she would like a lawnmower for her birthday.

Before the fresh sheets had been on the bed 12 hours Kate spit up, peed and pooped on them. Augh!

Colleen doesn't say, "yes" she just says, "no" in a different tone of voice, sometimes with head nodding.

Emily has also figured out how to change the font on word processing and writes our names in Arabic or Greek and copies them down onto paper. She was impressed that our friend Rick knows Arabic.

New Blog

So I just finished reading Christopher Chant by Diana Winn Jones (for the 3rd or 4th time!) and wanted to tell you all about it. Then I decided that I didn't really want my blog to turn into a book review time - plus I wanted to get some more reading ideas from you. So I created a

New Blog

So this is how it works. Anyone can be a member. If you have a book you want to let us know about (love it/hate it) write a post. If you want to be a member just leave me a comment and go to the blog goodreadideas.blogspot.com for more details.

Uncle Tom's Cabin - A Must Read!

Everything I knew about Uncle Tom's Cabin I learned from The King and I. "Run Eliza! Run!" Sad really. I read it this week and loved it. I wish I could join a book club and discuss it right now.

Through her characters Stowe argues all the points for and against slavery, depicts different types of masters and discusses what should happen to the former slaves if slavery was ended. She even highlights the prejudices of the North. They don't want the Africans to be slaves but are they willing to have blacks live among them? They send missionaries to Africa to convert but are they willing to take in former slaves and educate and convert them themselves?

Many of the race questions it raised are valid even now. Stowe's' solution to what to do with the slaves after slavery was to educate and train them and then send them to Liberia to help form a new nation. Looking back with over 150 years of hindsight the end of slavery was just the first step in an ongoing process. We are still dealing with the evils of slavery. It took till "the 3rd or 4th generation" for blacks to legally have the same rights as whites and I believe it will take another 3 or 4 generations for those rights to become natural and fairly applied by all. Anyway, it gave me a lot to think about.

Stowe's main argument against slavery was the break up of slave families. No matter how good a master was there was always the possibility of being sold to pay off unforeseen debts or when a master died with no provision for the freeing of his slaves. A good read. One of the best "classics" I have read.

Speaking of classics and their not-to-be-classic sequels, I also read Mrs. Darcey's Dilemma, a sequel to Pride and Prejudice. Not as well written, rushed and predicable. Although Mr. Bennett's quip that the thought of being reunited with his wife after his death had motivated him to stay alive these many years did make me laugh out loud. It wasn't that bad but when you are hoping for something as good as Pride and Prejudice it is a let down. Maybe I'll try Pride Prejudice and Zombies.

Goals

It is time...the baby is 7 weeks old, friends and family are gone for the summer and the school year starts in a week and a half! Time to get back on the ball. There are so many things that I want to get on top of but I made a list of the 6 most important to me right now. Spritual goals include: daily morning and evening prayer (morning is the worst for me) and scripture study. Physical: daily ab, arms and leg/cardio exercise. I have met about 3 out of the 6 goals the last two days. Yup- room for improvement but I hope if I put my goals out there I might do better at reaching them. For scripture study I didn't know what to do. I have been making and breaking goals on that regularly. But I had and epiphany. I check my blog and yours everyday - I'll put a scripture link on there - then I can add the scripture study habit to my blog habit. So if you go to my sidebar you will find links to the LDS Sunday School lessons. Once you click the week you are on you can click on the assigned scriptures and go right to them. Easy. I hope.

I wanted to make a goal about house cleaning but I don't want to go overboard :). Brian is doing dishes as I write this. I love him!